Hi! Hello! It’s me! I’m not dead. I’ve just been busy/trying to ignore reality/trying to figure out what to do in the reality that I’m forced to live in.
Since, this is my writing blog, I’ll focus on my writing, where I’m at with it and what my plans are moving forward. As much as I’d like to discuss other aspects of current events (US politics) and how they’re affecting me, my future plans, and my writing I’d much rather err on the side of caution and not vent about them in a public forum.
Where Have I been?
Last you heard, I was working my way through my short story submission challenge. I was doing pretty well, posting weekly updates, writing poetry and drabbles. And then, from your perspective, I vanished.
Truth is, I got a job. Finally.
I’d been looking for just over a year since I’d been suddenly laid off. And let me tell you, the job hunt process was exhausting and demoralizing. The last time I was looking for work, I’d at least get form rejection letters if I didn’t get asked in for an interview. Things have changed. Most companies seem to not even bother with a form rejection letter these days. And apparently, the average job hunter has to apply for 100 jobs before they find work (at least that’s what the statistic was in 2025). That’s 100 desk top studies to learn about the company and what they do. That’s 100 tailored cover letters. That’s a lot of work to find work. And to hear nothing back for most of it, honestly make you feel like shit.
I found myself sinking further into a depressive state, beating myself up for not being able to contribute to household expenses. Questioning my worth as an employee. My abilities.
And then a company contacted me asking me to come in for an interview. They’d found my resume online and thought I’d fit the role. At first, I thought it was some kind of scam, but after doing my research, I found that it was a real company and so I called back, scheduled the interview for a Thursday and started the job on Monday. I’ve been in the role seven months now.
Okay, But What About My Writing?
As glad (relieved) as I am to be working again, there is a downside, namely not having as much time to write. I mean, I know that I’m capable of working full time and writing and editing novel-length works. I’ve done it before on multiple occasions. But I’m out of practice balancing the demands of a non-work-from-home position with my writing.
When I worked retail, I’d leave fifteen minutes early so I could write in my car before work and then I’d spend half my lunch break writing, and write for fifteen minutes in my car before driving home. I commute into this job on the train, so that gives me twenty minutes before and after work to write if I want (at least I’m comfortable writing in noisy, public places). But while retail work allowed me a lot of time to think about things not related to work, this is a writing/project management role that doesn’t leave much room for thinking through story problems on the job. And honestly, when I’m on my lunch break I only want to veg out and listen to a podcast episode.
So, I decided to give myself time to adjust.
I let myself put my original writing aside temporarily and work on fanfiction (and no I won’t say what fandom or what pseudonym I write under for that because fandom politics are not to be messed with and I don’t need them finding out who I am). I needed a low-stakes project that would allow me to keep in the habit of writing without needing to worry about whether it was any good or marketable, without needing to polish it beyond a quick spelling and grammar check.
And it’s been fun and rewarding. There’s something to be said about getting near instant feedback on my work. It’s really helped rebuild my confidence in my abilities.
I’ve written almost 400,000 words in the last six months. Which may seem like a waste to some people. I get that. But, honestly, it’s been helpful. I’ve been able to practice elements of my craft that I struggle with such as pacing and character-driven storytelling. I’ve been able to experiment with things that I’ve been too afraid to try in my original writing, such as writing more explicit content in romance plotlines or setting stories in contemporary, non-fantasy setting (because you actually have to get details right when you’re writing things in the real world instead of making up all the rules in a fantasy world). And there’s value in that.
I feel like my love of writing has been renewed.
And I’ve been slowly getting back into my original writing.
I spent April revising a short story for a submission call. One story. One submission. One month. It was a story I’ve had on the backburner for a while and hadn’t gotten around to revising because of lack of focus. So I spent one or two days a week revising it and got it to a place I’m happy with. It’s a story I wrote the first draft of nine years ago, back when I still didn’t think I was capable of writing anything shorter than 100,000 words. It was one of the first short stories I wrote and it was a mess (too many plot lines, too many characters, unclear character motivation), but it was a complete story that was under 10,000 words and I was proud over myself. Over the years, I’ve taken it out and tweaked it here and there, simplifying the plot, reducing the number of characters, digging into who the characters are. Each time, it’s gotten closer to what I wanted it to be. After this month, it’s finally there. Regardless of whether it’s accepted for this anthology or not, I’m happy with it. It’s a story I can stand by.
The revision process helped me see how much I’ve grown as a writer over the last almost decade. I’m better at reading my own work and identifying what the problems are and figuring out how to fix them. Though, with this story, I couldn’t have done it without my fantastic writers group who read it last year and whose feedback really helped guide my revision process.
What’s Next?
I’m going to keep writing fanfiction, because it’s fun and there’s no pressure, but I’m also going to extend the amount of time I work on my original writing so that I can get back into revising my pirate novel.
For the next month, I’m going to focus on revising a story for a call open in early June. This particular story is one that has been difficult to find a home for because it’s too long for most short story markets, but recently, there have been more markets looking for novelette length (generally somewhere between 10,000 and 20,000 words) pieces. This is a story where the flaws can be addressed by adding to it, so I’m going to focus my efforts on building it out into a novelette.
As it stands, the story is very plot-driven, so now I have the opportunity to really dig into the characters and their motivations and given the world a more lived in feel. And I’m excited for the opportunity to get to do something new with this story because it’s one that I was just about ready to trunk even though it’s one that I adore.
Once I’ve submitted the novelette, I’ll get back into my novel revisions. And for that, I think I’m going to need some help with accountability, because unlike with the short story and the novelette, there’s no set deadline for me to finish it and without external deadlines, I have a habit of procrastinating. So if anyone has any tips, feel free to let me know.
One thought I have is that I’ll focus on revising a chapter a week and have one person that I send that chapter to as accountability and possibly for feedback. I’m not sure yet, but I know I’ll need someone.
Long Term Goals
My goal has always been to publish novels and that hasn’t changed. However, I’m becoming less sure about trying for traditional publication through a major US publisher. My writing features a lot of queer themes and queer characters (hmm, maybe because I’m queer) and I worry that with the current administration, that mainstream publishing will veer away from publishing queer content. So, maybe it’s time to adjust my goals and start looking at the idea of publication through a small press (there are so many fantastic ones that are putting out books that I absolutely adore) or possibly even self-publishing, though I worry about my capacity to hold myself accountable to the demands of self-publishing.
All this is moot if I never get a novel to the point of being ready to submit to publishers, though.
And who knows? Maybe I’m being alarmist and my fears are overblown. Maybe by the time I’m ready for publication, the wind will have shifted again.
What I do know, is that I won’t story writing the kinds of stories I want to write in order to make them more publishable. I’ll keep writing about transgender dragon whisperers, queer musical assassins, and time travelling lesbians, because that’s what I wanted to read more of when I was growing up. Because those stories barely existed when I was growing up and if they had, maybe I would’ve figured some things out about myself sooner than I did.
Thank you for reading! Feel free to drop a comment about how you recommend I hold myself accountable to my novel edits.
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