The first red and orange leaves have made their appearance, though two days ago, the thermometer in the car read 93* F, and it was sunny enough for my pale Celtic skin to burn as we played our last gig of the summer.
It used to be summer lasted until the start of the school year and then it was fall. I no longer have that neat delineation in my life, but this morning, I’ve realized I have a different marker to indicate the turn from carefree summer to contemplative autumn: September 11th.
I still remember where I was fifteen years ago today when the twin towers fell. I was in Mrs. Martin’s classroom at Ray Miller Elementary School and for the first time ever, the television was on. I though it was a movie or a TV show; how could someone fly a plane into a building? Why would they do that? It couldn’t be real.
I remember learning about hate and fear fifteen years ago today. My mother took me out of school that day. We didn’t have a television so we went to our neighbor’s house and watched the news. I’d never seen my mother afraid of anything before, except maybe that time in Colorado when she wouldn’t let us go outside because a mama bear had left her two cubs sleeping in a tree in our neighbor’s backyard.
Fifteen years ago today, I learned how to be a kind stranger. My elementary school ran a stuffed animal drive to send to children who had lost parents in the attacks. I can’t remember what stuffed animal I sent, but I do remember that it went to a little girl whose father had been a New York City Firefighter.
I think of that time as the end of my childhood summer and the beginning of the fall of preadolescence. I was eight-years-old, going to a brand new school, in a town with a different culture than I’d ever experienced prior, and I’d learned that evil existed. I’ve never cried so much in my life as I did that year. I remember retreating into myself, becoming more serious about my schoolwork. The world didn’t seem so sunny as it had in the days before 9/11.
Seasons cycle, we get more than one summer in our lives. The last couple years playing in the band have been a summer for me. And this year, summer hit its stride. We’ve played over 30 gigs so far this year. We’ve gotten a booking agent and more often than not, we’ve been approached about playing gigs rather than having to hunt them down ourselves. And people seem to really like us…
…But it feels wrong to linger on my successes today. Today is a solemn day, the anniversary of a day that redefined our nation. Today is a day to remember, a day to examine the wound that was torn in our national identity. I hope that wound is healing.
Today is September 11th, 2016 and now I know it is fall.
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